{On April 5, 2013, we will celebrate the 15th Anniversary of the First Friday Book Synopsis, and begin our 16th year. During March, I will post a blog post per day remembering key insights from some of the books I have presented over the 15 years of the First Friday Book Synopsis. We have met every first Friday of every month since April, 1998 (except for a couple of weather –related cancellations). These posts will focus only on books I have presented. My colleague, Karl Krayer, also presented his synopses of business books at each of these gatherings. I am going in chronological order, from April, 1998, forward. The fastest way to check on these posts will be at Randy’s blog entries — though there will be some additional blog posts interspersed among these 30.}
Post #30 of 30
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Synopsis presented March, 2012
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. (Crown. 2012)
On this, the final of my 30 posts (30 Books in 30 Days), I had my toughest choice of the series. I had to choose between Quiet by Susan Cain and The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (which I presented at the June, 2012 First Friday Book Synopsis). Both of these books are serious best sellers. Both are valuable, absolutely worth reading. (The Power of Habit has the best chapter I’ve read about how to shape a corporate culture. It is a chapter about Alcoa).
But I decided to go with Quiet for a simple, and I think, profound lesson that we all need to learn. It sounds like a cliché, and we all give lip service to it. But, I think this book tells us, so very strongly and passionately, that people really are different. And in our “extrovert-path-to-success” world, the introverts really are different, and we – our culture, our business world – must “let them,” and “enable them,” and “encourage them” to pursue the introvert path. It really is okay to be different than the “expected norm…”
That expected norm is the “Extrovert Ideal” norm. From the book:
We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.”
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.
Ms. Cain describes that the “extrovert ideal” is the “performing ideal.”
Americans started to focus on how others perceived them. “The social role demanded of all in the new Culture of Personality was that of a performer,” Susman famously wrote. “Every American was to become a performing self.”
This developed as America became a city-based, business-based (not farm-based), and “Dale Carnegie shaped” culture. I include quite a few excerpts from the book here. This is the primary “lesson” of the book, and it is, I think, profound. (You might want to read a separate blog post, The Birth of Dale Carnegie – A Fascinating Account, from Quiet by Susan Cain, which I wrote shortly after reading this book).
The rise of industrial America was a major force behind this cultural evolution. The nation quickly developed from an agricultural society of little houses on the prairie to an urbanized, “the business of America is business” powerhouse.
Americans found themselves working no longer with neighbors but with strangers. “Citizens” morphed into “employees,” facing the question of how to make a good impression on people to whom they had no civic or family ties. In the increasingly anonymous business and social relationships of the age, one might suspect that anything— including a first impression—had made the crucial difference.”
(companies needed employees) …who could sell not only their company’s latest gizmo but also themselves.
Success magazine and The Saturday Evening Post introduced departments instructing readers on the art of conversation. …they had to be visibly charismatic: “People who pass us on the street can’t know that we’re clever and charming unless we look it.”
But the new guides celebrated qualities that were—no matter how easy Dale Carnegie made it sound—trickier to acquire. Either you embodied these qualities or you didn’t: Magnetic-Fascinating-Stunning-Attractive-Glowing- Dominant-Forceful-Energetic It was no coincidence that in the 1920s and the 1930s, Americans became obsessed with movie stars. Who better than a matinee idol to model personal magnetism?
Americans also received advice on self-presentation—whether they liked it or not—from the advertising industry. …the new personality-driven ads cast consumers as performers with stage fright from which only the advertiser’s product might rescue them. “ALL AROUND YOU PEOPLE ARE JUDGING YOU SILENTLY,” warned a 1922 ad for Woodbury’s soap. “CRITICAL EYES ARE SIZING YOU UP RIGHT NOW,” advised the Williams Shaving Cream company. A FAVORABLE FIRST IMPRESSION IS THE GREATEST SINGLE FACTOR IN BUSINESS OR SOCIAL SUCCESS.”
“Good luck finding an introvert around here,” says one. (At Harvard Business School). “This school is predicated on extroversion,” adds the other. “Your grades and social status depend on it. It’s just the norm here. Everyone around you is speaking up and being social and going out.” “Isn’t there anyone on the quieter side?” I ask. They look at me curiously. “I couldn’t tell you,” says the first student dismissively. (students at HBS practically go to the bathroom in teams). The essence of the HBS education is that leaders have to act confidently and make decisions in the face of incomplete information.
The school also tries hard to turn quiet students into talkers.
But, not everybody is an extrovert, a “talker,” or can be turned into one”
Most inventors and engineers I’ve met are like me—they’re shy and they live in their heads. They’re almost like artists. In fact, the very best of them are artists. And artists work best alone where they can control an invention’s design without a lot of other people designing it for marketing or some other committee. I don’t believe anything really revolutionary has been invented by committee. If you’re that rare engineer who’s an inventor and also an artist, I’m going to give you some advice that might be hard to take. That advice is: Work alone. You’re going to be best able to design revolutionary products and features if you’re working on your own. Not on a committee. Not on a team the more creative people tended to be socially poised introverts… …introverts prefer to work independently, and solitude can be a catalyst to innovation.
But the way we organize many of our most important institutions— our schools and our workplaces—tells a very different story. It’s the story of a contemporary phenomenon that I call the New Groupthink—a phenomenon that has the potential to stifle productivity at work and to deprive schoolchildren of the skills they’ll need to achieve excellence in an increasingly competitive world. …The New Groupthink elevates teamwork above all else. It insists that creativity and intellectual achievement come from a gregarious place. It has many powerful advocates.
Here is part of what I included in my synopsis handout, from the book:
• To start:
• Start here: there really are different kinds of people! —
Note: remember, shyness is not the same as introversion
Beware of the new Groupthink… some people really flourish in collaborative work environments; others don’t. Beware of “one size fits all”!!!
Our unintentional (and intentional) preference for the extroverts makes the introverts feel “guilty,” and shuts them out, and silences them too much. This is to the detriment of us all.
• Yes, introverts have to learn some “extrovert skills” to survive in this era. But, they should be allowed to learn them, and then “perform” them, their way.
• Example: extroverts can speak at a moment’s notice. You’ve got to give introverts preparation time (both “getting their thoughts together” and “getting prepared emotionally” preparation time).
• A Manifesto for Introverts…
1) There’s a word for “people who are in their heads too much”: thinkers.
2) Our culture admires risk-takers, but we need our “heed- takers” more than ever.
3) Solitude is a catalyst for innovation.
4) The next generation of quiet kids can and must be raised to know their own strengths.
5) Sometimes it helps to be a pretend-extrovert. There’s always time to be quiet later.
6) But in the long run, staying true to your temperament is the key to finding work you love and work that matters.
7) Everyone shines, given the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a laplit desk.
8) One genuine new relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.
9) It’s ok to cross the street to avoid making small talk.
10) “Quiet leadership” is not an oxymoron.
11) Love is essential; gregariousness is optional.
12) “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” (Mahatma Gandhi)
And here are my “business takeaways”
1) People really are different from one another. We really do need to discover/know where our folks fall in the introversion-extroversion spectrum.
2) We really do need to let/help each person flourish in his or her “natural sweet spot” environment.
• Some: groups and collaboration
• Some: solitary work zones (solitude is a real catalyst to creativity) — (encourage moments of quiet and solitude)
3) It really is a spectrum. But introverts do have to learn some “extrovert” behaviors (e.g.: how to network; how to speak publicly); and extroverts need to learn some introvert behaviors (getting serious work done alone). And each needs to learn to give freedom to the other to work more within his/her natural zone.
4) Brainstorming “alone, virtually connected,” is the better kind of brainstorming.
5). Be careful how you judge/evaluate a person. First impressions may favor extroverts, and this means you will miss a lot of really talented, valuable people. (one third to one half of Americans are introverts).
I remember an earlier book I presented, back in 2010, by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson: Rework. It included this recommendation:
You should get in the alone zone. Long stretches of alone time are when you’re most productive. When you don’t have to mind-shift between various tasks, you get a boatload done.
For some, that is what they prefer “most of the time.” Such people are the introverts, and they really do get an awful lot done in their “alone zone” time.
I think the world may work best when we honor both types. I suspect that Steve Wozniak, the introvert, and Steve Jobs, the extrovert, were the perfect “match.” We need both. Susan Cain has taught us this, or at least reminded us of this, in a genuinely important book.
That’s it. 30 books in 30 days. I may circle back in the weeks to come and write a few more, on terrific books I had to skip. But I have enjoyed this walk down memory lane, and the vivid reminders of insights I have gained and lessons I have learned, over the first 15 years of the First Friday Book Synopsis.
Now, if only I could actually implement all of these insights and lessons in my work and personal life…
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Watch Susan Cain’s TED talk: Susan Cain: The power of introverts.
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You can purchase many of our synopses, with our comprehensive handouts, and audio recordings of our presentations, at our companion site 15minutebusinessbooks.com. The recordings may not be studio quality, but they are understandable, usable recordings, to help you learn.
(And though the handouts are simple Word documents, in the last couple of years we have “upgraded” the look of our handouts to a graphically designed format).
We have clients who play these recordings for small groups. They distribute the handouts, listen to the recordings together, and then have a discussion that is always some form of a “what do we have to learn, what can we do with this?” conversation. Give it a try.
First Friday Book Synopsis 