The number one skill that is essential to achieving greater success
Here is an article written by Mary Goodman and Rich Russakoff for CBS MoneyWatch, the CBS Interactive Business Network. To check out an abundance of valuable resources and obtain a free subscription to one or more of the website’s newsletters, please click here.
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(MoneyWatch) If there was just one thing you could improve upon that is guaranteed to make you more successful, would you do it? Well then listen up.
We mean it, really – listen up and listen better.
The better we listen, the more others appreciate us and, in return, the more they listen to us. By listening better, we learn more and misinterpret others less. It seems that some people are just naturally good listeners but the truth is listening is an acquired skill. One that, with any improvement, will yield great benefits.
Let’s take a look at few of the barriers or bad habits that get in the way of effective listening. See which ones you might be guilty of. (We know which ones we’re guilty of.)
• Multi-tasking – Do you ever look at your phone or check emails during a conversation? If you think you can multi-task while listening, then you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s also painfully obvious to the other person when we are distracted.
• Me, Me, Me – If your major concern is how others perceive you, or what you’ll say next, then you can’t focus on what is being said.
• Brain Speed – If our thoughts outpace the speaking style of the person we are talking with, we tend to let our mind wander. Or we interrupt the other person because we believe we know what the person is trying to say but taking too long to say it.
• What did you Say? – Hearing loss can adversely affect every conversation, from missing out on a pleasant exchange to serious safety issues. It is estimated that there are more than 35 million Americans that are hearing impaired. Less than 30% use hearing aids. If you suspect you have a hearing problem, get tested. If you know you have a hearing problem, get hearing aids. If you own hearing aids, wear them.
• Line Butting – You’re bored with the subject so you interrupt and introduce a new topic. Or worse, you start talking about yourself.
So how did you do?
If not as well as you liked, here are a few things that you can do that will dramatically improve your listening skills.
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The advice is rock-solid. Check it out by clicking here.
Rich and Mary help entrepreneurs make more money doing what they do. “We help them make it, get it and keep it.” They’re authors of Make Banks Compete To Lend You Money. To learn more, check out Bottom Line Up by clicking here. You can check out all their articles by clicking here.
Expertise + Soft Skills (especially Communication Skills) = Path to Success
I was reading this article, Is a Science Ph.D. a Waste of Time?: Don’t feel too sorry for graduate students. It’s worth it, by Daniel Lametti, and this grabbed my attention:
Even the Economist, despite its disdain for “pointless” Ph.D.s, likes to hire scientists. As the ad for their science-writing internship reads, “Our aim is more to discover writing talent in a science student or scientist than scientific aptitude in a budding journalist.”
Notice the formula: expertise 1st, then writing talent.
This says two things. Good communication skills without genuine expertise is just a little too short on substance. Genuine expertise without good communication skills is just a little too incomprehensible. Thus, the formula:
Expertise + Soft Skills (especially Communication Skills) = Path to Success.
Karl Krayer and I present training on Writing Skills and Presentation Skills (actually, we both provide the Presentation Skills sessions; Karl leads the Writing Skills sessions) for all kinds of professionals. Companies with engineers and scientists and “techies” hire us to help these folks become a little more “understandable.” The reason is obvious. Expertise that cannot be communicated is expertise that is not fully utilized.
I have no doubt that expertise is truly critical. But there is a reason that Literature and Speech are “required courses” in practically every college degree program. To be able to write clearly, and then to speak clearly, really is a job requirement, a “core competency,” in this hungry-for-good-information world. The problem is that most students promptly forget what they learned in these classes, when they are immersed in their “real jobs.” They tend to view their real jobs as the “work” they do, and they consider communicating their insight and findings as something of a “step-child,” kind of necessary “busy work,” but not critical to their job.
This is a mistake! Communicating well is part of every job. A failure to communicate leads to ripple effects that cause lost productivity, confusion… something close to “failure.”
Have you taken an inventory of your own skills? If you have genuine expertise, do you write clearly? Do you speak clearly? If not, it’s time to work on these “soft,” but absolutely necessary, skills.
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Contact me at r.mayeux@airmail.net, or call Karl at 972-601-1537, and we can bring this training into your company or organization.
Why is it so hard to accept change?! – The Story of the 19th century Navy’s Resistance to (Rejection of) the Submarine
(We flew in from Charleston late last night, and I am in “catchup” mode after vacation).
One of the many places we toured was the site of the restoration of the Hunley, the first submarine in history that successfully took down an enemy ship. It is quite a vessel. A crew of men, turning in unison from a seated, cramped position. An explosive torpedo loaded at the end of a spar. On February 17, 1864, led by Lieutenant George W. Dixon, they successfully embedded the explosive in the hull of the USS Housatonic, and she sank in a matter of minutes. The Hunley also went down (theories abound; the exact reason is unknown), and Dixon and his crew of seven volunteers perished.
So, later in the evening, after our tour, I pulled out my iPad to read about the history of submarines. Here is a submarine timeline: WORLD SUBMARINE HISTORY TIMELINE. And here is the key quote for those of us who think about the difficulty of leading change (I’ve bolded the key line):
1852
Indiana shoemaker LODNER D. PHILLIPS built at least two submarines. The first collapsed at a depth of twenty feet. The second achieved hand- cranked underwater speeds of four knots and depths to 100 feet; Phillips offered to sell it to the U. S. Navy. The response: “No authority is known to this Bureau to purchase a submarine boat . . . the boats used by the Navy go on not under the water.”
During the Civil War, Phillips again offered his services to the U. S. Navy, again, without success.
There it is in a nutshell: “No authority is known to this Bureau to purchase a submarine boat . . . the boats used by the Navy go on not under the water.”
“This is how we do things around here; we don’t want any of your newfangled ideas; what we’ve always done has worked just fine” — “our boats go on not under the water.”
We also saw a World War II U-boat watch tower on a barrier island. It turns out that the U-Boats sank quite a few ships off of our coast, more than our government revealed at the time. And the defense against the U-Boats led to some substantial innovative breakthroughs.
The lesson is clear. What are you resisting? Why are you resisting it? Be careful, your commitment to the “way we’ve always done things” just might cause you to lose your entire ship…
The wisdom of Neil Armstrong….
Although he will be remembered as the first human being to walk on the surface of the moon, Neil Armstrong said something in later years that I will always think about whenever his name is mentioned.
He was justifiably proud of his various achievements as an astronaut and, especially, the “moon walk” but whenever praised for it, he said that people should be judged on the basis of “what is written on the ledger of their everyday lives.”
“Now Hear This – That is All” – Your Communication Tip of the Day
We had lunch on the USS Yorktown at Patriots Point in Charleston a couple of days ago. There was an announcement over the speaker inviting all to lunch. It was simple:
“Now hear this. Lunch is available at the C.P.O. Mess. That is all.”
I never served in our military, but I remember this phrasing from movies – especially Mr. Roberts. ”Now hear this… That is all.” How clear, how simple, how compelling. “Now hear this-that is all” means :
“Listen to this… Ok – I’m through; you can quit listening now.”
Are your communications, your presentations, your emails this clear?
Mario Batali in “The Corner Office”
Adam Bryant conducts interviews of senior-level executives that appear in his “Corner Office” column each week in the SundayBusiness section of The New York Times. Here are a few insights provided during an interview of Mario Batali, the chef, cookbook author and television personality, has restaurants in the New York and Los Angeles areas, as well as in Las Vegas and Singapore, with his business partner Joe Bastianich. Yelling in the confines of a small kitchen, he says, simply isn’t necessary.
To read the complete interview as well as Bryant’s interviews of other executives, please click here.
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Bryant: When you walk into a busy kitchen in one of your restaurants, what can strike you as off-key in terms of how people are interacting?
Batali: One of the big rules for our kitchens is that if you’re not close enough to be able to touch me, you can’t talk to me. A lot of people will yell across the kitchen because it’s just easier and faster. That doesn’t work with us, so our kitchens are smaller, and you need to talk in a conversational tone. If you can’t, you have to move toward me, because if you’re yelling at me, there can be problems understanding the nature of your message.
Bryant: The whole culture of yelling seems to be celebrated in some restaurants’ kitchens.
Batali: I worked with a lot of yellers over the years. My opinion is that yelling is the result of the dismay you feel when you realize you have not done your own job. Everyone in the restaurant business knows it’s not going to be busy at 5 p.m. It’s going to be really busy between 7:30 and 9:30 or 10, and then it’s going to taper off a little bit. And it is as inevitable as Christmas. So it’s the chef’s job to prepare the staff for what will inevitably come. And it comes every night, so it’s not like, “Oh my God, what happened today?” The reason the chef yells is because the chef is expressing dissatisfaction with himself or herself for not having prepared you properly. And then, of course, the obvious scapegoat is the person who’s the least prepared.
That said, if someone isn’t learning, my strategy for changing someone’s behavior has always been a stern, relatively direct conversation, sotto voce but within earshot of their peers — not mocking them, yelling at them or calling them names — and telling them exactly what I expect them to be able to do the next time we go through this. Their peers can hear it, so the message is clear to everyone.
Bryant: Other leadership lessons you’ve learned over the course of your life?
Batali: Well, one of the most important things is realizing you’re not the most important or the most intelligent person in the room at all times. And understanding that is a crucial component of the kind of self-deprecation that makes someone really good at understanding other people, especially when they’re faced with their own limitations and they come to you for help. It’s about being able to empathize and understand and communicate, even under stress, in a way that helps them solve a problem, as opposed to becoming part of the problem. The first day that a chef believes that he or she knows everything is the first day for the rest of their life that they will be a jerk, because you can’t know everything about our field.
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Adam Bryant, deputy national editor of The New York Times, oversees coverage of education issues, military affairs, law, and works with reporters in many of the Times’ domestic bureaus. He also conducts interviews with CEOs and other leaders for Corner Office, a weekly feature in the SundayBusiness section and on nytimes.com that he started in March 2009. In his book, The Corner Office: Indispensable and Unexpected Lessons from CEOs on How to Lead and Succeed, (Times Books), he analyzes the broader lessons that emerge from his interviews with more than 70 leaders. To read an excerpt, please click here. To contact him, please click here.
A Quote for the Day on the lack of true Global Leadership – from G-Zero World by Bremmer
(as I wrote earlier, I am on vacation.. So, back to regular blog posting around Aug. 30).
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I have read many books on leadership, but we still seem to face a real shortage of leaders. And not just individuals in leadership positions, but also “bigger arena” leaders.
My book for the September First Friday Book Synopsis is Every Nation for Itself: Winners and Losers in a G-Zero World by Ian Bremmer. He states the problem simply and clearly:
“For the first time in seven decades, we live in a world without global leadership.”
That’s the challenge – a G-Zero world. Every nation is for itself.








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